As a singer/songwriter and musician it is easy to sometimes fall into comparison with other musicians. There will always be someone better than you, but it doesn’t means you should compare yourself to them and allow that to dampen your enthusiasm. As my friend and producer Luke Dixon said “I always surrounded myself by musicians that were better than me, that’s how I became a better musician”. So if we can recognise that others are better than us and use that to grow in competency it is a great positive. If we see someone better than us and use that as an excuse to feel unworthy, that is another thing.

Honour who you are and the gifts within you, cherish those gifts because they are unique to you. There is not another person on this planet that has the same unique set of gifts as you. There is absolutely no point in comparing yourself to other people unless you are going to use that comparison to grow in skill. It is the full package that is important and the gifts that you bring to the world are absolutely unique and together cause a synergy of energy that shines outward. That is your light, the synergy of energy that is the combination of your unique gifts as one unit. To judge the parts causes the whole thing to fall apart. Cherish your gifts as a whole and if you do meet someone better than you be grateful for the opportunity to improve that aspect of your gift.

One thing that I have finally learnt lately is that if you are an artist, expectation will kill it.  If I go out to play thinking “must be a rock star” I might as well not go.  The noose of expectation constricts my vocals chords and ties my guitar playin’ hands.  Until about 2 gigs ago, thats how it was most of the time.  That was until my experience at the Art House (which I wrote about in the last blog) first hurt me and then cured me of expectationitis.

To go and perform, sing for the sake of singing, smile, have fun.  That is it.  “Facebook” brings a new element to connection and timing in life.  Around the same time I was experiencing all this I read the quote “I know some people say “Keep your eyes on the prize,” but I disagree. When your eyes are stuck on the prize, you’re going to keep stumbling and crashing into things. If you really want to get ahead, you’ve got to keep your eyes focused on the path.”~ Russell Simmons.  That really says it all.

Will Smith says “You don’t say “I am going to build a wall” you go and lay a brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.  You do that every single day, and soon you have a wall”:

Art without expectation is true creative freedom.  Now I can just be myself and sing my songs and it feels great.

Last Tuesday I got a phonecall from Romney the Entertainment manager at the Art House Hotel in Sydney asking me if I could fill in for an artist that had cancelled that night.  I enthusiastically said yes and even changed some plans with friends so that I could go to the gig.

So I went to the Art House and played what I thought to be an excellent gig.  I felt really “on” and was having fun talking to and interacting with the crowd.  After the gig, several people in the audience came up to me to tell me how much they had enjoyed it.  A gentleman from the USA offered to buy me a drink, I accepted so we sat down to have a chat.  Mojan was his name and he said “You deserve a much bigger crowd so I thought the least I could do was buy you a drink”.  I said “Thanks” and we talked for about half an hour about our lives.  I left soon after feeling great about the gig and looking forward to the next one.

Later in the week, I emailed Romney to say thanks for calling me to fill in at the gig I had a great time.  I got a reply back the same day that said “Unfortunately the management and staff on duty on Tuesday evening have mentioned to me that the material was not in line with The ArtHouse Hotel and what we generally offer.  As this is the case future gigs have been filled on the advice that I have received. Thank you again and I wish you all the best in the future.”

“What?” I thought.  ”But it went so well”.  How could the people in the bar love it and go out of their way to tell me and the bar staff had a totally different opinion.  I was really hurt and confused.  I let it get me down.

My wife said “but you know the truth! Why does it bother you”.  To which I replied “Oh, I guess I just want everyone to like me”.  I kind of half laughed when I said it because it sounded so ridiculous.  I thought, does everyone love “Shakira” or “Pink” or “Bono”, no they don’t.  It is a matter of taste.  But it still hurt.  I am a sensitive person.  But in this industry I have to grow a thick skin or I am in trouble.

I think my friend and fellow songwriter Pave Leclair hit the nail on the head when he said:

“You know, there is a large part of your story that I find encouraging.  The more you become of yourself, the closer you are to finding your audience and the easier it is for them to identify with you.  Of course in the process, you are very likely to turn a lot of people off who aren’t into that special thing that you do.  They don’t count though.  Its all quite similar to finding the right girl I reckon.”

Hearing that from Pave really sorted me out.  I am so grateful.

My dream is to be a globally successful singer/songwriter and for my music to reach millions.  It is a huge dream that is sometimes daunting, especially if I try to do everything myself.

Good friendship is always valuable and that value isn’t always tangible, in fact it is rarely tangible.  When you are going after a big dream though, it can become really tangible.

Take my best friend Steve who before I moved back to Sydney 3 weeks ago was already looking for gigs for me.  He got me an audition to play at “the Beach Palace”, a huge bar on the beach at Coogee after pestering them to give me a chance for a few weeks leading up to them saying yes.  I went for that audition and got a gig or perhaps many with them, but that was the easy part, Steve did all the groundwork.

Then the next day Steve calls me and says “Want to play at a cafe in Maroubra tomorrow night?”.  Maroubra is another popular sydney beachside scene.  I played at the “Mr Bigstuff Cafe” the following friday and had a great time.  The owner invited me back.

Steve got me two gigs and now he is looking for more, all this with a full-time job and studying part-time.  He says to me “I will do anything to help you realize your dream”.  That means more to me that he will probably ever know.  When I realize that dream though, he will know!

Imagine if we all did this?  Imagine if we all served each other in this way? Believed in each other and then did anything we could to help the other realize their dream.  I guess one big thing is that not that many people seem to know what their dream is. But for the ones that do, imagine if we cross-supported each other like Steve does.

I know I need about 10 friends like Steve eventually if I am going to make it, maybe more and I am sure they will come.  In Indie Musician circles they call it a “Street Team” and I know mine is forming.  Steve is the undisputed captain of that team.

It is not a one way street though, it is well know that the more you give the more you receive.  So if you are reading this and you have a dream, how can I support you?